Then and Now: My Feelings about Being Pregnant

I had mixed feelings when I first found out that I was pregnant, mostly because I wasn't prepared to be a mother. Unplanned pregnancy, what d'you expect?

The first time the doctor did ultrasound on my belly, 'it' (my unborn baby) was just merely 4.6cm in diametre.  All I could see was just a black dot.

I was OK, emotionally.

I did feel a bit nervous when I stepped into the clinic because I wasn't sure if I were pregnant.

"What if I were?" "What happened next?" All these questions were circling in my mind.

When the doctor broke the news to me that I was indeed pregnant, I breathe a sigh of relief. Not that I was all joyful or anything.

No more guessing games. No more anxiety. That was 'the' relief.

A new thing to worry about, that's all.

The next immediate decision was which hospital to go to. That was easy.

There's only one nearby.

So we made the time to go to the hospital.

The second checkup was at the hospital, my first appointment with a gynaecologist (I eventually said vaGINA-cologist *Blush*). And it kind of changed my feeling about being pregnant.

'It' had developed into a vague figure.

I could see its heartbeat, a sign of life; its head and behind were visible and I could see its hands and they moved, a bit.

I developed a sense of motherhood in that instant.

I was...pretty ready to be a Mom.

I was in my 9 weeks' of pregnancy.

A month later and I was back at the hospital, waiting patiently for 2 long hours to see the gynaecologist (it happens sometimes). Those who came in later than me went in first, which I later concluded that they had bigger bellies than me and so they were prioritised.

Well, it wasn't a big deal. It was worth the wait.

Whenever I visit the gynaecologist, there's only one thing in my mind.
Do the ultrasound immediately!
I wanna see my baby!

So there it was...only a tiny 7cm, but was already moving vigorously, stretching its hands and kicking its legs.

The body parts were becoming more apparent. I could see clearly both his hands, legs, relatively big head and bum.

I realised...I had fallen in love, with this life inside me.

I'm now into my 4th month pregnancy and I can't wait to have him/her in my arms in August.

Oh, I'm so over the moon right now....

I'm going to see my baby in 2 weeks' time! On the screen, I mean.